What Makes A Real Man?

Am I Real Man?

We recently moved into a new house and there needed to be some work done on it. Nothing big, just putting up blinds, fixing a sink, etc.…. As I mangled the shades and sprayed the kitchen with water, I realized that I am just not good at “man” stuff.  I thought of other things that I don’t do well and for just for fun, wrote them down.  I have come to terms with these things and so now feel there’s no need to hide these facts about myself.

 

I don’t drive well.

I have to admit, this is one the hardest things I have had to admit. Like most men, I picture myself an amazing driver with the skills of a NASCAR driver. The fact is, I really don’t drive well. I scare people who ride with me and my wife is 100% better at it than I. I am an amazing parallel parker though.

 

I have no handy skills.

A lot of this is due to my lack of patience, but mostly it’s just that I suck at fixing stuff.  I don’t know how men got stuck with the title of “fix-it person” in the home, but I am a failure in this department.  As I said earlier, I can’t even put up a set of blinds without a fury of cursing and tool tossing.  In fact, every piece of furniture that we have ever gotten at IKEA, my wife has built.

 

I cry a lot.

If a movie is even remotely sad, the waterworks come out.  I still tear up when I watch the final scene of “The Karate Kid” (Machio, NOT Jayden Smith!) I cry when the movie has a happy ending; I cry whenever an animal dies; Sometimes I just cry for no damn reason at all. If you even mention the movie “Big Fish” I’m a wreck. I think it has gotten worse with age, but the fact is I cry and I don’t care who knows.

 

I like cooking and decorating.

I don’t think this is so uncommon, but in my house I do all the cooking and have decorated every house we have lived in.  I love home shows, Food Network, and think I have a better queer eye than the guys from that show.  My kitchen is MY kitchen and I only let my wife go in to get me a glass of wine….

 

Speaking of wine.

I totally prefer wine to beer. I still feel weird ordering wine in a bar, but dammit, it’s what I prefer. I also enjoy adding a splash of 7-Up to mix it up.

 

I don’t do the family finances.

I don’t pay the bills nor have any idea how our electricity stays on. My wife takes care of all that. I am horrible with money and without my wife doing this stuff we would live in a van down by the river.

 

I defer all the important decisions to my wife.

Again I am a total dumbass when it comes to most things. Every decision of importance I have made for our family has usually been wrong. Again, my wife gets to wear those pants.

 

With all those things being said. I still think if you met me you would think I am pretty much a man. The fact is most men are not good at all the traditional roles we are supposed fill. I just think more men need to wear their non-manliness with pride!