Your Straight Male Friend

Absence Shouldn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder

Absence Shouldn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder

Recently I have taken a job that will require me to be gone 5 days week and I will only see my wife on the weekends. Luckily it’s only for a few weeks because I’m on day 3 and I can tell you it already sucks. I truly enjoy being with my wife and being apart is really tough on both of us.

I bring this up because I was thinking about that expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I’ve realized that that’s not the way it should be. I appreciate all my time with my wife and all absence is doing is making us both sad. Heck even our dogs are bummed I am gone. (At least that’s what she tells me)

I think too many couples take for granted the time they spend together, and to be honest, most guys I know can’t wait to do stuff without their wives. It’s not that they don’t love their wives, they just like to have that individual time away. I think society in general has kind of ingrained in people that it’s an acceptable thought for men. I don’t think it is.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think some time apart is healthy and I know my wife and I are that annoying couple that likes to do everything together. We do it for a few reasons that I’m going to share with you.

She’s my best friend.

I know it’s cliché that your wife should be your best friend, but I see a lot of couples that don’t feel this way or have forgotten with time. Remind yourself that your mate is and should be the person you enjoy having fun with. Whether we are simply sitting together, watching TV, talking or out on the town, she is the person I want to do all of those activities with.

I am a better person with her around.

I know I am better person with my wife by my side. If I didn’t think so, my friends are quick to remind me. Especially when I put on my douche hat when I’m out by myself. If you are not a better person with your mate, think about why you aren’t and whether or not it’s something you can improve on.

We make each other laugh.

Laughing together is KEY. If you meet a couple that doesn’t make each other laugh, then I will guarantee you it’s not a healthy relationship. Whether it’s doing my underwear dance for her or sharing an inside joke, we laugh a lot. Are you laughing a lot with your partner?

So absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it shouldn’t. You should enjoy every day and minute with the one you love. If this is not the case, then maybe you are not with the right person. Treat every day as if it were the last day you will see your mate for a very long time. Make each other laugh, be best friends, and strive to bring out the best in one another.

~ Matty

Written by

Matty Staudt has been in the radio industry since he was just 16 years old. In addition to Matty’s status as co-founder of, Matty is a professor at The Academy of Art University in San Francisco. He is the former Executive Producer of several popular shows in NYC, DC, and in SF on the “Sarah and No Name Morning Show”. His six – year tenure ended there, and he teamed up with one of his best friends and former co-worker Marcus Osborne to form

4 Comments to “Absence Shouldn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder”

  1. He may have a point here…why should absence make the heart grow fonder?

  2. Matty Staudt says:

    I don't feel like time away makes us any stronger, it just makes me miss her!

  3. Tova Rasmussen says:

    Some very good points here…. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Or does it just make us miserable? I tend to side with Matty here….. I hate being apart from the one I love if I don't have to be.

  4. Doc Kane says:

    So, true, Matty. I’ve heard of people who actually take separate vacations as well … what’s up with that? I always loved the story about Paul and Linda McCartney spending nearly every day of their lives with one another despite touring and everything else – now that’s what it’s all about!

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